Whirlwind October 8, 2009

I just finished updating my public blog, that goes to all my in-real-life friends and family about what a whirlwind the last six weeks or so has been with packing, moving, and settling in.  It has really been crazy, but in a good way.  I didn’t love living with all the boxes in our apartment for four weeks, but that was the only way to do it when you are moving with a little baby.  And we did get unpacked and settled in very quickly considering.  Mike’s mom has been AMAZING – helping manage Max, bringing us meals and just generally making herself super helpful.  My parents were great too, but him mom was incredible.   My attitude about her has been totally corrected. 

The other new exciting development is that I am starting to fit into some of my pre-pregnancy clothes.  I am still about 6 or 7 pounds above my pre-pregnancy weight (though we won’t talk about how far over my pre-IVF weight) and I am very happy that I don’t think I’ll need to buy any new pants before we go on our Virginia Beach trip next week.  It will be Max’s first airplane ride – I hope he does well.  If he does, we might be able to tag along on a couple more of Mike’s trips this fall/winter/spring, which would be nice.  With his newest promotion, which happened this week, it looks like he’ll be doing a lot more traveling, so it would be great for us to be able to spend a little more time together that way.

After taking a nice nap on my lap, Max is up so gotta go.  I’ll try to do better with my updates as we settle in here and try to construct our new suburban life.

SAHM September 1, 2009

Wow.  I don’t know where the time goes.  I keep thinking I want to get on here and write about how these first three months have been so that I don’t forget and then I have a hard time finding the time to do it.  Let alone taking care of Max, but we have been house hunting (HUGE weekend time suck) and entertaining grandparents (my mom has been here four times already which has surprisingly been really good and we have seen Mike’s parents practically every week since he has been born) and trying to enjoy our last summer in the city (easier said than done – see above) and now packing.  Max is great on his own playing on his mat or sitting in the bouncy seat for half an hour to (sometimes) 45 minutes, which gives me just enough time to shower, pump, eat breakfast and/or lunch, check my e-mail, and that’s about it.  Doesn’t leave a lot of time for blogging.

After the first few weeks with breastfeeding, we got over the hump and things have been great since about 5 or 6 weeks.  He is getting what he needs, I am pumping most mornings so that I have a stash of milk and can do things like go to bookclub (I went for the first time last night while Mike and his parents all took care of Max) and meetings and go to a White Sox game with a friend later this month.  I was glad that Mike’s mom was here last night for the first time that Mike was watching Max for longer than an hour or so.  Mike is fantastic with him, but his mom really has a magic touch for getting him to sleep, so I knew it would be easier on everyone.  But it sounds like Mike is feeling pretty confident that he can do it on his own soon.  I have a couple other evenings away planned over the next few weeks, so hopefully it will go well.  I really haven’t left him much and he is already 14 weeks old.  Partly I just love being with him and being his primary caretaker.  And I think partly I also just worry that he will freak out and whoever is watching him won’t be able to calm him down.  But I am letting go a little.  Last night at bookclub I didn’t worry about him at all – I was able to just have a nice time.

I had a bad attitude at the beginning about Mike’s parents because his mom is really in my face when we see them – as soon as we walk in the door she is there and wanting to hold Max.  She actually says “okay, my turn!” when we get there.  I am totally fine with her holding him and spending lots of time with them when we visit – I just wish she would give me a little space and let me hold him for five minutes when we get there.  Maybe I am just selfish with him but I like to have that little buffer before I give him up.   But she has been so helpful over the past few weeks as we have been preparing to move and also when we went to dinner to celebrate our anniversary.  So I am getting over it a little.  I think we are going to be seeing a LOT of them as we move – which will make it way easier for us, but just also might be a bit much.  So maybe after we are settled we’ll get a little break.  Our new house is only 10 miles from them, so it is a little close.  I don’t really want to be seeing them every single week, so I guess we’ll just have to set the boundaries.  Mike is great about that so hopefully it will work out okay.  It will also be great for babysitting and allowing us to still have a bit of a social life.

One thing I am struggling with a little bit (besides SLEEP) is the crying/getting stuff done balance.  I don’t generally let him cry much, but I am finding it hard to figure out how to balance how much to let him fuss so that I can get dinner made or the laundry folded or the bed made or whatever needs to be done.  I don’t want to be like my friend Julie’s mom (“We pretty much raised ourselves, but we had a clean house”), but I also need some semblance of order and cleanliness to feel like I can function. 

And the sleep…maybe I need to revise my expectations.  For a few weeks Max was a champion sleeper – he was just up once per night around 2 or 3.  I didn’t realize how great it was!  He is now (since about 6 or 7  weeks old) up several times – around midnight or 1, then again at 3 and 5 - so I guess about 3 times per night.  I have started just side-lying nursing him all three times and getting up to change him at 3 so I am still getting a fair amount of sleep – I usually fall back asleep before he is even done nursing.  But I wish we could go back to once a night.  He isn’t sleeping well on his own either.  At least he isn’t sleeping on my chest anymore (as of 10 or 11 weeks probably) but he sleeps the first stretch in his co-sleeper or crib and then with us the rest of the night.  Sometimes if I put him on his tummy (I know, I know – not the best choice…) in the cosleeper around 6 am he will sometimes sleep another 2 hours – though this morning it was FOUR hours extra.  Amazing.  He also won’t nap if you lay him down – I get 20 minutes max if I put him in the crib and then he is a fussy mess.  But he will sleep up to 2 – 2 1/2 hours in the Moby wrap or Baby Bjorn.  I keep trying to put him down every once in a while as this can not last forever, especially as he is getting bigger.  But so far no luck.  I don’t want to get too ingrained in bad habits, but I also need him to get some sleep during the day.  I guess we’ll get it figured out eventually.  He is only 3 months old after all.

He’s fussing on his play mat – I think he’s reached his limit.  Off to grab him and then get headed out for a little shoe shopping and generally enjoying the city for the day.  We got a TON of packing done yesterday when Mike’s parents were here, so for the rest of the week I can kind of relax, enjoy the city and the lakefront at the end of summer here, do a little shopping and just hang out with Max.  If I get a box or two packed each day that will be great, but we do have a three-day weekend coming up to get lots done too.

Almost forgot July 10, 2009

One other thing – what is with not losing any weight?!  I mean, of all the problems to have at this juncture, it is a minor one, but come on!  I lost 12 pounds when I had Max, another 7 the first week home and as of last week I hadn’t lost another single pound!  I did lose one between last week and this week.  I think my diet needs an overhaul.  I used to be so good (pre-pregnancy and even pre-IVF) about not eating a lot of sugar or fat, and now my diet is not so virtuous.  But, still, I should have lost more than I have just based on the fact that I am breastfeeding, right?!  I still have more than 15 pounds to lose to get to my pre-pregnancy weight and more than that (more like 25) to get to my pre-IVF weight.  Running will help, but that is going to be hard to fit into the schedule until I can put Max in the jogger stroller and go out for a run.  Until then I will have to run before or after Mike gets home from work (not very appealing when he leaves at 7:30 and gets home at 8 pm and I am not getting a ton of sleep…) and on the weekends.  I am not saying I need to go on a diet (I don’t believe in dieting), just that I need to get back to my healthier eating habits.  Ugh.

Max has been sleeping (in the Baby Bjorn) a good share of the afternoon, allowing me to to get the bathrooms cleaned and the kitchen floor swept and mopped, all for the first time in at least a month, probably more.  The house still needs vaccuuming, but it is feeling a lot more under-control in here.

Max and I went to playgroup this morning, which is certainly way more for me than for him at this point.  It i so great – it’s like networking and a seminar all in one – these ladies who all have kids older than mine do have a lot of insight – I feel like it is on-the-job training for my new stay-at-home-mom job.  How else do you learn this stuff?

Max is waking up and making the cutest faces.  Maybe he’ll do some more smiling for me if I go change his diaper.

6 1/2 weeks in July 9, 2009

Six and a half weeks in, all is well and I can FINALLY say that breastfeeding is going well.  First I had sore/cracked/bleeding nipples (when your three-day-old baby spits up blood and you don’t know if it is his or yours it is never a happy moment), then a supply issue.  We finally got that resolved at about his 1-month birthday and were able to exclusively breastfeed (yay!!) and then I got mastitis last week.  I am still on antibiotics and may have a relapse at some point, but for now I am feeling good and we are exclusively breastfeeding again.  I tried to also pump yesterday and got barely drops (after nursing Max first) – I think I’ll just breastfeed for the time being.  I’ll have to start pumping when we have plans to leave him for more than a couple hours.  But since I couldn’t handle the thought of him riding with Mike instead of with me when we had to take separate cars out to the sububs early this week, I don’t think that will be very soon.

I am already forgetting a lot of the things from the very early days of Max’s life.  Mike said to someone the other day that I had commented soon after he was born that I recognized his body movements from how it felt in the womb.  I had already forgotten that bit.  I am sure there is a lot that I won’t remember from the first few sleep deprived weeks.

Max does not want to sleep unless he is being held – ugh.  During the day he is in the sling to sleep and at night he sleeps on his tummy on my chest (probably not the best, but the pediatrician was unconcerned) or next to me with me curled around him.  I feel like I am setting us up for bad sleep habits, but the pediatrician said that this is what 99% of the world’s population does and not to worry about it.  When it isn’t working for us anymore we can force the issue.  It is amazing though.  He could be sound asleep and if you put him down in the crib or co-sleeper he’ll be awake and crying within minutes.  He’s just a cuddly little baby, which I generally am happy about.

In the last week he has started smiling, and in just the last few days it has gotten really great – big smiles with vocalization along with them.  Too cute.  His smiles are without a doubt the best part of my day. 

I am in such a better place than I was a year ago – it is amazing how different things can be.  It is sometimes frustrating when he is fussy or won’t sleep when you want him to, but overall things are so good and we couldn’t be happier with this little miracle.

Oops.  He’s waking up – time for a diaper change and a snack.

Maxwell Thomas – 6 days old today May 31, 2009

Max arrived all of a sudden on Monday, Memorial Day.  Though he was 10 days late in the end, once he was ready to get out, he wanted OUT!  My friend Julie had her twins by cesarean at 2 am that morning.  I thought for sure Max would not have the same birthday as the girls, but I was wrong.  At 4 I woke up with contractions, but they weren’t that painful – felt like menstrual cramps.  They were about  4-5 minutes apart and then over the next few hours slowed down to 8 then 10 then 20 minutes apart.  I was starting to get frustrated – he was already 10 days late, and labor kept seeming like it might be around the corner and then going away… But then after two walks, a trip to Borders and lunch at home my contractions started to change and become more painful around 1:00 or 1:30 that afternoon.  They sped up and got more intense really quickly and by 2:00 or 2:15 we called our doula, she arrived just before 3:00.  At 3:07 we were on Lakeshore Drive headed to the hospital. 

After three contractions between the car and the triage area (and after going through transition in the car on Lakeshore Drive - not so much fun) , my water broke in triage and I started feeling like I had to push.  They rushed me upstairs, got a tub and started getting it filled up, and got me a squat bar.  I pushed for about 20 minutes on the squat bar and another 20 or 25 in the tub, and he was born at 4:48 pm.  Really only 4 hours or so of what I would consider labor.  It was so intense because it was so fast – I hardly got a break between the pushing contractions.  But I am grateful that it was quick.  Thank God I was prepared for natural childbirth, because even if I had wanted and epidural, there wouldn’t have been time for it.

M ax is beautiful and perfect and healthy.  He was 8 lbs 3 oz at birth and 21 1/2 inches long – the same length that my 6′8″ brother was at birth.  Probably my little half-Japanese baby will not be 6′8″ though…

We’ve been home since Wednesday night adjusting and things overall are going great  We have some breastfeeding problems, but I am pumping to try to increase my milk supply.  Thursday night was really tough when we realized he wasn’t getting enough and was really hurting me and we had to end up giving him some formula, which is not how I had planned this at all.  Fortunately we had a fantastic lactation consultant come on Friday and though the problems are not solved, I feel like we are on our way to a solution.

Mike leaves in two days for Switzerland and has been absolutely amazing taking care of me and Max – feeding him and changing diapers and keeping up the house and also snuggling with the baby and really getting comfortable quickly with handling a brand new baby, which he had never done before.  I’ve been so impressed with how he has handled it all.  He is going to have a hard time being away, and I am going to struggle with him away, but I am now feeling really happy that my mom will be here and then my dad and Cathy will be here.  I am definitely not ready to be alone with him quit yet.

We’ve had a couple of field trips besides to the pediatrician already – yesterday to Best Buy and Whole Foods and today Max and I went alone into our little downtown area to get a gift for our doula who is coming for a post partum visit tomorrow.  It was so great to get out and enjoy the beautiful day and walk around town with my baby.  Our doula was also great during the delivery and worth every penny that we paid her.  Even with our Bradley class, I think there were some times in the birth process that Mike might have been really freaked out if she wasn’t there to tell him that what was happening was normal. 

It still seems pretty surreal that this little person came out of my body less than a week ago and that he is mine, ours.  I love just sitting and watching him make his funny little faces and sleep in his funny little positions with his hands going every which way.

41w2d May 24, 2009

According to the midwife on Friday, I was 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced, so making some progress.  However, it is Sunday and I am not in labor.  I did lose my mucus plug yesterday (sorry – TMI…) and the contractions that have been happening for the last week-plus continue, but nothing big is happening.  Next appointment is Tuesday.  If he is still doing okay in there, they’ll send me on my merry way again and induce on Friday (at 42w exactly).  We made the decision to wait until the last day possible to give my body the best chance of going into labor on its own, but with Mike leaving the following Tuesday for Switzerland for 10 days I am not too excited about that plan… But I know it is the right decision.  It also gives me three more very long days (Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday) to fill on my own.

The last couple days have been much easier because Mike has been home, so I have some company and something to do, despite the fact that our cable TV and internet has been out at home since Thursday.  GREAT timing Comcast – thanks for that.  Fortunately it is a long weekend, so I get to have him home again tomorrow, though his parents might be coming in for dinner.  I like his parents fine, but don’t really feel like spending another weekend day with them.  I feel like we have seen a lot of them lately and I will probably be seeing a LOT of them in the next few weeks after the baby arrives.  His mom has been pretty good about not hovering (unlike my mother who calls every other day and infuriatingly predicted that the baby will arrive this weekend – I am not sure why that bothered me so much, but it made me really angry), but does feel the need to pass on all of her friends’ advice about how to get labor going.  I have just about had it with the advice and the “trust him, he will come out when he is ready” that I am getting from everyone.  Yes, I know.  Thanks.  That doesn’t make it any easier to wait and wait when Mike is leaving on the 2nd and I am going to be left with just my mom to help me in my first few days of being a mother myself.   Between that and my increasingly painful hemeroids (still don’t know if I am spelling that right) I am READY for this to be done.  You would think that after waiting more than 2 1/2 years it wouldn’t be so bad to wait a few more days.  But, good lord, I am tired of waiting!  I have to keep a good attitude though – this is a much better problem to have than we had at this time last year, and a much better problem than we could have had if this round of IVF hadn’t worked…

Ugh May 19, 2009

I thought that after the past 2 1/2 years of waiting – ttc, then getting sick, then IVF, then pregnancy – waiting for this kid to be born would be the easy part.  Ugh, was I wrong. 

My due date came and went last Friday.  Friday evening I noticed I was having some painless contractions, so we started timing them and they were getting closer together, peaking at about 6-8 minutes apart.  So we called the doula to give her a heads-up that we might be calling her in the middle of the night to go to the hospital.  Four days later there is no change.  I am still having contractions every 10-12 minutes sometimes, every 6-8 minutes other times.  They are not getting more painful, there has been no bloody show – nothing is happening in terms of a progression. 

After Friday we cancelled all our weekend plans (including going to the grocery store!) and got mentally prepared to have this baby.  Now that I am sitting here on Tuesday, seemingly no closer to having a baby (though I know I am really 4 days closer), I am getting frustrated, grumpy, and really antsy.  I have fabric for a second quilt that I am working on and maybe I’ll go to the movies, but I really have little to occupy my time, and that is a hard state for me.

My mom, as usual, is driving me nuts too.  She bought me a webcam “for my birthday” – she seems to not realize that it is not a gift for me, but something for her… Yesterday at 8:30 am my time we had a date to test it out.  She got the time wrong and totally wasted my time while I sat here waiting for her.  When we finally got together on the computer later in the day, she still couldn’t figure out how hers worked.  Then she told me she was thinking about taking the train out here when the baby is born which makes NO sense at all if she is so concerned (as she seemed to be) about getting here as quickly as possible.  Then she e-mailed me later to tell me she heard that raspberry tea might help with labor.  I wish she would just keep her advice to herself, especially when she doesn’t have any idea what she is talking about – it isn’t raspberry tea, but raspberry LEAF tea, and I have been drinking it by the gallon (at my midwife’s suggestion) thankyouverymuch.  Ugh.  I have a feeling that the first few days of Mike’s trip when she is going to be here staying with me are going to be some very difficult days between taking care of a newborn without Mike and trying very hard not to kill my mother.

Next midwife appointment isn’t until Friday – they’ll hook me up to the fetal monitor for 20 minutes and do an ultrasound to check for the level of amniotic fluid and then decide what to do.  At some point we’ll have to make a decision about whether we want to be induced before the 29th.  I think the worst case scenario is induction on the 29th that leads to  c-section and Mike leaving on the 2nd for Switzerland.  I could potentially still be in the hospital when he leaves.  Ugh.  That is going to be a very hard 10 days either way.

Come on baby, time to come out!!!

I Have an Outie May 6, 2009

My belly button has finally popped out in the last week or so.  Before it was still an innie in the morning and would pop out sometime during the day – it was almost always out by dinner time.  But now it is consistently out.  It is so bizarre though – it is like a little nose or something.  It protrudes further on the top ridge and then tapers down towards the bottom.  But the turkey timer has popped out, so hopefully that means that he is close to done. 

I wouldn’t be worried about the timing if it wasn’t for the fact that we found out this morning that Mike got accepted to the next level of this leadership program at his job, which is FANTASTIC news for him, but not such good timing since it means he’ll be in Switzerland from June 3 to 11.  The timing could be worse (like May 15 to 25), but if the baby is two weeks late (the latest they’ll let me go), he’ll only be a few days old when Mike leaves, and we will have only been home for the hospital for a day or two in all likelihood.   So now I am really hoping that this baby is on time or a few days early.  Hopefully all my sleep and good nutrition and protein will help him get out of there on time.  Not that these things probably have anything to do with it… Ah well.  A girl can hope.

I am concerned about solo-parenting a baby so little, but also concerned about having a lot of motherly visits – both his mom and my mom.  They both make me a little crazy (my mom way moreso than his mom, actually), and if they think I am in need of a lot of help while he is gone, I think it is might be more than I can take.    I am not sure how I’ll delicately handle the “I am fine, please leave me alone” conversation when (not if) the time comes…

Back to the belly-button thing – I have really been on the tail end of a lot of the physical things in pregnancy.  I didn’t feel him move until pretty late in the game – I think I was 22 or 23 weeks along before I knew I was feeling movement.  I couldn’t identify body parts until at least a few weeks after the books/newsletters were saying that I would be able to, and now finally my belly button has popped. 

I still feel really good.  Getting out of bed can be a challenge, as can be picking up dropped knitting needles off of the floor, but I can still bend over to pick things up for the most part, and am not feeling uncomfortable.  I have been going to the gym some still (though have not been good about doing my kegel exercises or the other exercises they taught us in our Bradley class).  The elliptical machine has been good for me the last weeks/months as has the pool when I can force myself to get in.  When my feet are swollen, it does feel really good to get in the pool, but I find it totally boring, not a workout, and sometimes cold getting in, so I don’t find I have a ton of swimming motivation.

I have pretty much completed my to-do list that I had been working on.  I think the two last things are to finish my quilt (I am going to go pin it now) and my knitting projects (three projects down – a green sweater/hat set, a football helmet style hat, and leg warmies) and one project to go (a tan sweater and maybe a matching hat if I have leftover yarn).  If he is late I am going to find myself with a LOT of time on my hands.  I always say that I am never bored because I don’t sit still well and always have lots of projects going on.  But if I really get to the end of my to-do list (other than the general cleaning stuff I do every week or every-other week) I am not sure how I will fill all my time besides going to the gym and knitting, and that only takes up so many hours in the day.  But at least I will feel like I really got everything done before he arrived, which would be nice. 

So, anyone out there in internet-land, please think happy thoughts for an on-time or slightly early baby so that Mike gets in some bonding time before he has to head to Switzerland for 10 days!

Nesting April 29, 2009

Last week was my first week of no work, and it has been great so far.  I am getting stuff done and still having time to relax and go to the gym (or not…) and see my friends.  It is definitely a luxury that I am grateful for that I am able to do this for a month (plus or minus) until the baby arrives.

This week I am definitely nesting – purging clutter, cleaning and organizing kitchen cabinets, cleaning out the linen closet, etc.  It feels good to have everything in order before the baby comes and creates all kinds of disorder. 

We went to a cloth diapering class last weekend.  I was fairly well decided that I want to try it, but Mike was on the fence at best.  He is all about easy, and was not excited about the extra work of cloth diapering.  But after he saw that besides the extra laundry (which will be mostly my responsibility since I will be home either full time or part time) it really isn’t much harder, he is totally on board with it.  So I need to go out sometime this week or next and get stocked up on our cloth diapering supplies. 

I am still feeling really good.  I am not uncomfortable except for those occasional times when my feet and ankles get swollen – I don’t like that feeling.  But fortunately 15 minutes in the pool seems to cure that pretty easily.  Hopefully these next couple of weeks I’ll stay feeling good.  I don’t have any stretch marks yet either (knock on wood) – maybe I got good genetics there.  I’ve gained at least 35 pounds already, so I’ll be a little over the recommended 25 to 35 pounds.  I am somewhat concerned about being able to lose the weight, but hopefully with breastfeeding and lots of walks on the lakefront I’ll do okay.  My one real complaint right now is that I am not really sleeping much.  I’ve been taking naps most days, but I can’t seem to stay asleep at night.  I don’t know if it is him moving, or if I just can’t sleep – I am not feeling uncomfortable at night, I just can’t stay asleep and then when I wake up I am up for an hour or so. 

We had a big scare on Monday night after our last childbirth class.  It was dark outside and raining and we had to cross the street to get to the car and like idiots we decided to cross halfway, wait, and cross the other half when the coast cleared (not at a light).  But we learned our lesson about not doing stupid things like that.  I started to cross the second half, then hesitated because it didn’t look like Mike was going, then he told me not to stop, so I ran as fast as I could since there were cars coming and I needed to get out of the way.  Apparently my legs don’t move as fast as they used to, because after I was most of the way across I started to fall forward because I couldn’t keep up with the momentum.  I feel on my knees and an elbow – thank God I didn’t fall flat on my belly.  After my fall I didn’t feel the baby move for about half an hour – when he had been moving the whole night up until then.  I was so scared that I had done something horrible to him and just as I was thinking that I didn’t know how I could possibly go on with my life if I had killed the baby with my idiotic fall, I felt him move again.  He’s been moving ever since, so I think everything is fine, but I was so scared for a while.  I have one very scraped and bruised knee, but if that is the worst that happened (I keep visualizing one of the two of us getting hit by one of those cars – oh my God it could have been so much worse!) then we were very lucky.

Last weekend we got the armoire moved into the baby’s room and the clothes unpacked into it.  This weekend Mike is planning on putting all the air conditioners in the windows so that we can tuck the treadmill away in the back storage area and then we can get the rest of the nursery stuff put away.  The glider chair arrived this morning, so now everything is here.  It will be so fun to get everything arranged and pictures on the walls and have that room totally ready for him to come home.   I was feeling a little superstitious when we were putting stuff together last weekend and taking things out of boxes.  If something horrible happens, we can’t return anything anymore… But I have to think positively.  It’s kind of hard to trust still, even 2 weeks from my due date, that everything is going to be fine after what we went through to even get to be pregnant. 

As usual my mom is driving me nuts.   She wants us to call her the moment I go into labor so she can get here as soon as possible.  I keep telling her that I might be in labor for 36 hours – who knows – this stuff is impossible to predict!  And I don’t really want her driving here at 3 in the morning either if it happens in the middle of the night.  But she wants to know as soon as anything happens.  I made no promises when I talked to her yesterday – just told her we would keep her informed.  I am really not excited about having her and my in-laws sitting at the hospital waiting for the baby to be born.  It feels like pressure to me, even if that isn’t what they intend.  In fact, in an ideal world, I wish they would not be there waiting and we could call them after the baby is born and tell them to come in 5 or 6 hours – after I have been able to nurse the baby and then we all sleep for a little while before having visitors.  But this is a battle I am losing on all fronts – with my mom, Mike’s mom, and Mike too.  My mom, as usual, just seems to not care one bit what I want – just what she wants.  It is so aggrivating.  I don’t know how to change this dynamic which really needs to be changed for my own sanity over the next years with this child.  Ugh.

Off to the linen closet now to continue my nesting and get rid of all the clutter and unnecessary stuff back there.

T-minus 5 weeks April 10, 2009

Ever since I hit the second trimester, and then the holidays, the time has been flying by.  I am now counting down – five weeks from today is my due date.  As a major pre-planner, I am feeling woefully unprepared.  I don’t own diapers, a car seat, or lots of other things that will be necessary and/or helpful when the baby arrives.  But, a mini-shower tomorrow with Mike’s family in from Michigan and a real shower next weekend should remedy some of that, and then I can go buy whatever else we are going to need. 

We own all the nursery furniture that we need, but the crib hasn’t been put together, the armoire is in the dining room (as it is going to require taking the nursery door off the hinges to get it into the bedroom), the chair hasn’t arrived, and my mom is bringing the changing table next weekend.  So, right now that room is still just a total disaster area with the hand-me-down baby stuff scattered all around. 

Next week is my last week of work too.  I am cooking just one day next week and also finishing up the grantwriting project that I have been working on (due Thursday), so by Friday of next week, which also marks 36 weeks, I’ll be totally done working and I’ll be able to focus on getting stuff around here done.  I already have a to-do list that takes up an entire sheet of paper.  (Those who know me IRL would not be surprised by this!)  Hopefully the baby won’t come early and I’ll have time to get to all of it.  The nursery furniture situation probably won’t be remedied until the weekend of the 25/26, which is a little close for comfort for me, but with my parents coming in for the shower next weekend, that’s just the way it is going to have to be. 

Despite these rather minor stresses, we are just getting more and more excited.  I met four new babies this week, which helped with the excitement – 3-week-old twin boys, an 8 month-old that I hadn’t met yet, and a 2-week-old baby girl.  So fun.

A few people know the baby’s (probable) name, but we aren’t telling many people.  I did tell the nurses at the RE’s office and one friend in Maine. Everyone else will have to wait until May to find out.

We’re still debating cloth diapers – Mike is still pretty hesitant and I am a little hesitant – and are going to a cloth diapering class in a couple weeks to see what we can learn about it and whether we really want to take the plunge.  In the meantime I have registered for a few different types of diapers, so we’ll see if some nice family and friends will buy them for us so we can try them out.  We are finding out that more and more of our friends are using them and really love them.  In fact, all four of the new babies I met this week are diapered this way. 

Baby Ito has been moving around a lot the last couple of weeks, except for a couple hours this morning when I didn’t feel him at all – I drank some chocolate milk and laid down to see if I could feel him moving, and sure enough he did after a few minutes and has been moving ever since.  But I was a little nervous when I hadn’t felt him…I am still afraid that this miracle is going to be taken away from me.

But overall, all is well and I am both really excited for the birth to get here, and still nervous about the whole birth process.  I just can’t wait to see him!