Wow. I don’t know where the time goes. I keep thinking I want to get on here and write about how these first three months have been so that I don’t forget and then I have a hard time finding the time to do it. Let alone taking care of Max, but we have been house hunting (HUGE weekend time suck) and entertaining grandparents (my mom has been here four times already which has surprisingly been really good and we have seen Mike’s parents practically every week since he has been born) and trying to enjoy our last summer in the city (easier said than done – see above) and now packing. Max is great on his own playing on his mat or sitting in the bouncy seat for half an hour to (sometimes) 45 minutes, which gives me just enough time to shower, pump, eat breakfast and/or lunch, check my e-mail, and that’s about it. Doesn’t leave a lot of time for blogging.
After the first few weeks with breastfeeding, we got over the hump and things have been great since about 5 or 6 weeks. He is getting what he needs, I am pumping most mornings so that I have a stash of milk and can do things like go to bookclub (I went for the first time last night while Mike and his parents all took care of Max) and meetings and go to a White Sox game with a friend later this month. I was glad that Mike’s mom was here last night for the first time that Mike was watching Max for longer than an hour or so. Mike is fantastic with him, but his mom really has a magic touch for getting him to sleep, so I knew it would be easier on everyone. But it sounds like Mike is feeling pretty confident that he can do it on his own soon. I have a couple other evenings away planned over the next few weeks, so hopefully it will go well. I really haven’t left him much and he is already 14 weeks old. Partly I just love being with him and being his primary caretaker. And I think partly I also just worry that he will freak out and whoever is watching him won’t be able to calm him down. But I am letting go a little. Last night at bookclub I didn’t worry about him at all – I was able to just have a nice time.
I had a bad attitude at the beginning about Mike’s parents because his mom is really in my face when we see them – as soon as we walk in the door she is there and wanting to hold Max. She actually says “okay, my turn!” when we get there. I am totally fine with her holding him and spending lots of time with them when we visit – I just wish she would give me a little space and let me hold him for five minutes when we get there. Maybe I am just selfish with him but I like to have that little buffer before I give him up. But she has been so helpful over the past few weeks as we have been preparing to move and also when we went to dinner to celebrate our anniversary. So I am getting over it a little. I think we are going to be seeing a LOT of them as we move – which will make it way easier for us, but just also might be a bit much. So maybe after we are settled we’ll get a little break. Our new house is only 10 miles from them, so it is a little close. I don’t really want to be seeing them every single week, so I guess we’ll just have to set the boundaries. Mike is great about that so hopefully it will work out okay. It will also be great for babysitting and allowing us to still have a bit of a social life.
One thing I am struggling with a little bit (besides SLEEP) is the crying/getting stuff done balance. I don’t generally let him cry much, but I am finding it hard to figure out how to balance how much to let him fuss so that I can get dinner made or the laundry folded or the bed made or whatever needs to be done. I don’t want to be like my friend Julie’s mom (“We pretty much raised ourselves, but we had a clean house”), but I also need some semblance of order and cleanliness to feel like I can function.
And the sleep…maybe I need to revise my expectations. For a few weeks Max was a champion sleeper – he was just up once per night around 2 or 3. I didn’t realize how great it was! He is now (since about 6 or 7 weeks old) up several times – around midnight or 1, then again at 3 and 5 - so I guess about 3 times per night. I have started just side-lying nursing him all three times and getting up to change him at 3 so I am still getting a fair amount of sleep – I usually fall back asleep before he is even done nursing. But I wish we could go back to once a night. He isn’t sleeping well on his own either. At least he isn’t sleeping on my chest anymore (as of 10 or 11 weeks probably) but he sleeps the first stretch in his co-sleeper or crib and then with us the rest of the night. Sometimes if I put him on his tummy (I know, I know – not the best choice…) in the cosleeper around 6 am he will sometimes sleep another 2 hours – though this morning it was FOUR hours extra. Amazing. He also won’t nap if you lay him down – I get 20 minutes max if I put him in the crib and then he is a fussy mess. But he will sleep up to 2 – 2 1/2 hours in the Moby wrap or Baby Bjorn. I keep trying to put him down every once in a while as this can not last forever, especially as he is getting bigger. But so far no luck. I don’t want to get too ingrained in bad habits, but I also need him to get some sleep during the day. I guess we’ll get it figured out eventually. He is only 3 months old after all.
He’s fussing on his play mat – I think he’s reached his limit. Off to grab him and then get headed out for a little shoe shopping and generally enjoying the city for the day. We got a TON of packing done yesterday when Mike’s parents were here, so for the rest of the week I can kind of relax, enjoy the city and the lakefront at the end of summer here, do a little shopping and just hang out with Max. If I get a box or two packed each day that will be great, but we do have a three-day weekend coming up to get lots done too.
