With Mike away the last few days on his annual trip to spring training baseball games, this year in Florida, I have had a lot of really relaxing time to myself.
Yesterday I worked during the day, and then went and got an hour and a half massage (yes, spoiled, spoiled, spoiled!) and went out to dinner with some girlfriends. Today I had some things to do like cleaning bathrooms and the kitchen and going to order the glider chair. Other than that I spent a lot of time doing crafts and relaxing. I sewed a new curtain for the nursery, did e-mail, knitted, curled up in my “nest” to finish the book I’ve been reading (The Magician’s Assistant by Ann Patchett – I totally recommend it) and ordered Thai food for dinner.
Nowhere to be, no one to take care of – it was a lovely relaxing day. I haven’t been lonely at all since he has been gone. Each day other than today I have spent some time with friends, but today was fine too. Mike and I were talking the other day about how much I have changed in that regard in the last 9 years. Used to be when he was away it drove me crazy – I didn’t know how to fill the time with him gone. And I HAD to have plans each evening with friends, otherwise I didn’t know what to do with myself. I suggested maybe I am just more comfortable being on my own, have more hobbies to keep me busy, etc. But then we realized that maybe it isn’t something so deep. Maybe it is that we have cable TV now and I have that to keep me company. Kind of a horrifying thought…Is that really why I am okay on my own? I hope not.
I skipped the gym today even though it was on my to-do list, in favor of curling up and reading. Sometimes it is hard for me to remember that relaxing and taking it easy IS productive during this brief period of my life. Growing another person is hard work for my body – and I have been to the gym 4 days this week. So, I cut myself a little slack. I am headed to yoga in the morning too, so I’ll feel good about that.
My due date is two months from tomorrow. I know that after that (or at least soon after that) these lovely relaxing days will be no more for a while. I am not complaining – that is what I signed up for, and I am excited for it. But it is strange for me to think that soon I will hardly ever be alone. I spend SO much of my time alone these days, between my solitary job, my homebody-ness of late, and Mike’s work and travel schedule. Soon I will have another little person that I will be spending 24 hours a day with at least for the immediate future. I am excited about it, but also feeling a little wistful already for all this alone-time. I just have to take advantage of it over the next couple weeks.
Also, in reality, this could potentially be the only time I get to experience being pregnant. I hope to God that it isn’t. I really, really hope that we are abe to have another child. But, in case it is, I really want to enjoy the next 9 weeks of feeling the baby move inside me, knowing that I am nurturing and growing this new life. What an amazing experience. I sometimes feel like May 15 (or thereabouts) can’t get here soon enough so I can meet this little man. But at the same time I need to remember to enjoy these days too, before my life is changed and before this being leaves my body.
