Graduation October 29, 2008

Yesterday was my last appointment at the fertility doctor’s office before graduating on to being just a “normal” pregnant lady.  I have an appointment with a midwife this Friday and with an OB next Wednesday and then will make my decision.  The more I read the more I lean towards the natural direction and the midwife direction.  Though my dad had a hearty belly laugh when I told him I was thinking about natural childbirth.  Ah, I am sure it’s not the first belly laugh at that.

I broke down today and ordered some maternity clothes on line.  One of my Chicago friends lent me some maternity clothes, but she is a little smaller than me in general – height and dress size both – so only a few of them really worked out.  I was going to wait a little while, but even my regular pants with the addition of the Bella Band are feeling a little tight in the ass… so I went ahead and placed an order.  I was going to wait until the second trimester, but that isn’t working out so well.  I need some clothes!

Procrastinating again today – better go make my grocery list for tomorrow and get the recipes together.  For some reason this is the step I have the biggest mental block against.  There are too many fun ways to procrastinate when I am sitting in front of the computer.

Almost 11 weeks October 23, 2008

Well, it seems that I did not do any harm to the little baby in there with my running the other day.  The heartbeat is normal, it has a nose, and was flailing its arms during the ultrasound, making it difficult (from what I understand) to get the measurements they were looking for.  I also asked the doctor, and she said that I could run, and just to let my body be my guide.  So, I think I’ll do that.

One more visit to the RE (next Tuesday) and then I will be released to the care of an OB or midwife!  I have an appointment set up with an OB at Northwestern and I am also going to set up an appointment with a midwife at the same place, and then after I have met with both of them, I will decide which direction I want to go. 

I got my first prenatal massage today, and it was wonderful.  Nice and relaxing… And the place that I had the massage also does yoga classes, childbirth classes, etc. and they gave me a list of doulas to call.  I think a doula is going to be a good investment for me.  I am sure Mike will be great with everything, but he does have a habit of questioning everything, which makes me defensive – so if there is someone else there to smooth things out and act as somewhat of an authority on the process I think that will be a happy thing for all involved. 

11 weeks tomorrow!

Running – part 2 October 22, 2008

Today I was home in time to watch one of my favorite daytime TV shows – okay, the only daytime TV show I watch usually – Ellen Degeneris.  I love me some Ellen, but apparently I love sleep more.  I fell asleep on the couch and woke up about 2 hours later.  A delicious nap that has enabled me to actually get some shit done this evening – work stuff that I have been putting off all week.  Now I won’t have to worry about it tomorrow on my “off” day.  Hooray.

On Monday after running, I seriously considered not telling Mike that I ran – even though I was excited about it.  I thought he might give me a hard time about it, and I was right!  I told him and I was happy and excited about it, and he said he wants me to take it easy.  Argh.  I think he has no idea how difficult it has been for me to “take it easy” over the last three months.  I am not that kind of girl.  And it isn’t like I am recklessly doing something to endanger the baby – I have done my homework on this.  Anyway, he wants me to talk to the doctor about it.  Fine.

And then last night I wasn’t feeling too great – crampiness and maybe nausea.  I felt fine when I laid down, but standing up making dinner was no fun.  I was so afraid that I did something to the baby when I was running, that now I want to talk to the doctor too before I do it again.  In retrospect, I think it was some sort of intestinal issue, but I was so nervous about it, I guess it is worth it to wait to get an official go-ahead from some sort of medical professional. 

Alright, back to next week’s menu planning…

Running October 20, 2008

I went for a little jog today for the first time in 10 1/2 weeks.  Now that things have looked good at all my appointments so far I feel a little more comfortable with running.  And no one has told me not to.  In fact, everything I read says that if you were a runner pre-pregnancy, then there is no reason not to run through your pregnancy, so long as it feels good.  I am still a little nervous.

So, I mostly walked on the treadmill, but did two 10-minute bursts of jogging, nice and slow at the 5.0 mph setting.  I feel good now, but am glad that I have another appointment set for Thursday so I can make sure that I didn’t do any damage.

The fact that none of my clothes fit me (some of them not even in the butt/thighs) was a shocking revelation, and provides me with some motivation to try to eat better (not less- don’t worry, I am not going to starve the baby growing inside me) and exercise more – hopefully in the form of some running – so long as everything looks okay and I get the green light from the OB/Midwife/whoever I end up seeing in the next couple of weeks. (Holy run-on sentence, Batman.)

I had a minor meltdown today with my stupid accounting software that I am too stupid can’t seem to figure out.  I was so frustrated that I cried when I talked to Mike about it on the phone.  He says he’ll help me this weekend, which I am afraid will still be frustrating, but if he can figure it out, then hopefully I’ll feel better.  I still feel kind of down and tired from the whole thing, even after running.  I wonder if it is the hormones or what else I am down about – I don’t think this is a reaction that I would normally have, at least not lasting this many hours.

I should have a semi-relaxing week this week with Mike gone on business until Friday and cooking just three days.  Today I went and bought a Bella Band in hopes of getting some more use out of my non-maternity clothes (I think it is going to be a great $28 spent).  Thursday I have a dentist appointment, another ultrasound, and then a treat – my first prenatal massage.  I am really excited about that!  I’ll have to have some cognitive therapy at the dentist and just think about how great the massage will be – I hate the dentist, even breaking out in hives for just a cleaning.

Already! October 16, 2008

We had a great, and relaxing weeklong vacation in New England, driving all over God’s green earth to visit friends in New Hampshire, Maine, Vermont, and Boston.  We were there for a wedding (a fellow couple of the asian man/caucasian woman variety), which was beautiful and joyful and very stylish.  I napped every day, ate lots of great food (lobster! pad thai! bananas foster!), and didn’t do much else.  Since we had been to all of these places before, we didn’t feel any burning need to do touristy things, so we just walked around (with and without dogs) and generally enjoyed the week.

On the plane on the way home I had to sit with my pants unbuttoned because they were so freaking tight.  I thought maybe I should have taken it a little easier on the desserts over vacation until the next day when I noticed that my belly is really baby-bump shaped already.  Holy crap!  I was only 9 1/2 weeks at the time, 10 weeks tomorrow and I am DEFINITELY showing already.  A friend asked me if I am pregnant on Tuesday night - it is noticeable already!  I kind of love it.  It makes it all feel more real.  But, at the same time, if I am alreday showing, what does that mean for my girth at the end of this!?!?  Also we weren’t planning on telling the rest of the world for another two weeks or so, but I am not sure I can hide this… So we might have to swear more people to secrecy.

Feeling a little stressed due to the state of the apartment (clutter and dishes and general messiness) and my inbox (82 unread messages in an inbox that I like to keep empty) and the length of my to-do list.  Fortunately there is not too much planned for this weekend, so hopefully I Will get a lot of it done then.  And next week I am cooking only 3 days, though I have many appointments on Thursday…

My last ultrasound this past Monday showed a heartbeat of 167 bpm, and a tiny human-shaped being where there was just a blob before.  You can make out feet and arms and ears even in the ultrasound picture that they gave me.  Incredible.  Looks like I’ll transition to an OB on October 27 – a group practice, which I am not sure how I feel about, but it is at the right hospital and I can consult with my GYN who I love if need be, because she is in the same practice.  So, hopefully it will work out.  The worst that can happen is that I change…

Alright, better go put away my cooking stuff from today and clean up the kitchen a little before it is time to make dinner.