I’ve been on a roller-coaster ride with my health/fertility status over the last few weeks. As of mid-to-late September I have been officially “well” and was given the green light to pursue IVF. I made an appointment at a big fertility center here in the city and also tried to make an appointment with a specialist at Northwestern who turned out not to take our insurance. We also have a friend-of-a-friend who was successful with IVF at another, smaller, clinic in Evanston so we made an appointment there.
The doctor at the big fertility center was a little disappointing. She hadn’t requested my medical records before we met with her, and when she reviewed them in the office (the few that I was able to bring with me) she told me that my chances of IVF working are 50% less because of the hydrosalpinx (fluid in the fallopian tubes) that I have. She suggested that I might want to consider having my fallopian tubes removed before I go forward with IVF. But, she didn’t push me into it and also said that I could just “swing the bat” and try one round of IVF and see what happens. When AT MOST our insurance will cover three rounds of IVF, it does not make sense to me to just “swing the bat” and see what happens.
This was the third doctor that told me that I might have to have my fallopian tubes removed. So it was starting to sound like gospel. After she told me that I went ahead and scheduled the surgery for the week after I am done with my culinary school program. That night I woke up thinking and worrying about surgery and the pain and possible infection and what that would mean for IVF or having kids at all - basically thinking of the worst case scenario, including not being able to go home at all over the holidays. I didn’t sleep that night. I was back to feeling incredibly down.
Then this past Friday we had our appointment at the smaller fertility clinic. The doctor had requested all of my medical records, and had reviewed them. She asked specific questions. I told her that I had scheduled surgery and would go ahead with it if she agreed. She said that she would need to do an ultrasound before she was able to give me an opinion. Hallelujah!! Informed decision-making!!! So then she took me to the room next door and did an ultrasound. This was totally different than the health experiences I have been having lately where people are just guessing as to the causes and what we should do.
In the ultrasound that she did, she did not see the hydrosalpinx. So, have they gone away? Are they no longer an issue? Do I not need to have surgery?! I called my OB/GYN and told her about this (or rather, told her nurse Peggy who is fast becoming my best friend) and they have scheduled their own ultrasound and consultation for two weeks from now. If they also can’t find the hydrosalpinx, then I can skip surgery and go straight to IVF. Needless to say, this gave my mood a bit of a boost.
I now have two weeks with no scheduled doctors appointments. I am pretty sure this is the longest I have gone with no appointments since mid August when this all started. Hopefully I will have more good news on November 5 when I have my next ultrasound.
In the meantime, on Friday, Mike pointed out a lot of “omens” that he thinks were foreshadowing good things for us with this new doctor at the smaller clinic:
1. When we were waiting in the waiting room, a couple who had just gotten good news of a pregnancy was leaving the clinic (this is all deduction on my part – they seemed really happy and I overheard some excited “congratulations”).
2. The Doctor had an oxalis plant on her desk – my favorite plant and also a shamrock, maybe bringing good luck.
3. At lunch at our very favorite breakfast/lunch place in the whole city (yummm. azteca black bean bowl. yummm. special sandwich with beets and goat cheese.) the four-some next to us suddenly erupted in loud “congratulations!! I am so happy for you!” etc. One of the couples already had a baby (who was there and very cute) and the other was newly pregnant. I found it a little difficult to watch, not because I am not happy for strangers who are pregnant, but just because I want to be that happy too. It is so unfair. (Do I sound pouty enough?)
4. We went camping this weekend up in Wisconsin; having a much-needed weekend away. There were swarms of ladybugs which I decided were also an omen. Aren’t ladybugs supposed to be good luck? They were covering our clothes at times during our hike. Mike kept stopping to brush them off of himself and also me. I wanted to leave them be – wanting their luck to rub off.
It’s kind of funny – I am not a spiritual person at all. I would consider myself an atheist. But I am really superstitious. So, I will go home, and look for a four-leafed stem on my oxalis, knock on wood when I talk about getting pregnant and try not to jinx myself too much. And continue looking for omens.
